I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
