he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
