Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
