dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
