so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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