I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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