I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
