I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
