I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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