i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
