I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Randomize
