Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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