I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize