i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The air was thick with penises
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
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