We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Panties = found
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize