are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
someone get that fucking seahorse.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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