just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
