whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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