Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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