can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Drunk is a universal language darling
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
