If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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