so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
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