I wannas sexs uuuuu
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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