Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
