ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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