Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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