would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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