He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
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