your room smells of hookers.
And success
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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