would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
