i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
