that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
