I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize