I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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