The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
