Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
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