dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
