I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
jump out the window naked night went bad
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
