I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I lost the right to judge tonight
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
