i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
you inspire me to be a worse person
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
