The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
