you have to choose: penises or morals?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
the day after is always just damage control
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
