You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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