The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
you never un-have a 4some
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
