love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize