I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Its about making memories worth repressing
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
We left the knife in your bed.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
