No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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