the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
