Is it normal to miss your booty call?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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