There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
