Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
