Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
