Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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