A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
