she smelled like a LAN party
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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