You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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