D3 body, D1 cock
Your face is a jimmy john
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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