so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
