we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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