Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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