we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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