I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
