I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
