if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
