I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i just google imaged poop.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Two words: blizzard sex
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
